A viral video clip did what years of conversations, awareness campaigns and social media debates on gender equality often cannot. This showed how little importance some men give to a woman’s consent even today and how quickly our society comes to the rescue of such distorted thinking.
Recently, a video clip of a person from Gurugram went viral on social media. In this clip the man talks about spending ₹370 on a date and expecting a ‘Return on Investment’ (ROI) on that investment. Just look at this terminology—return on investment! As if he had invested in a stock market instead of spending dignified time with a human being. The surprising thing was that the audience present there laughed at this and the show’s host and comedian Praneet More also laughed openly – the same Praneet More who was seen talking about “cultures” and “values” on the stage of Bigg Boss.As anger increased, the person was fired from his job. But the question remains—does the matter end with just firing one person? no way. Because the problem was never about ₹370, nor about biryani.
The problem is not the joke, but the ‘thought of asserting one’s rights’ behind it.
This joke worked because it was based on a very conservative, patriarchal and deeply ingrained belief in society that money spent on women is an ‘investment’ and in turn legitimizes men’s rights over women’s bodies.
If we put it simply, it was a crude joke based on the threat of ‘sexual harassment or sexual coercion’. When you watch the longer version of this clip, the reality becomes more horrifying. The man confidently narrates how he took the woman to the park to extort money and tried to put his hands inside her leggings without her consent.
The most worrying aspect: There was no hesitation on the man’s face while narrating this entire story. There was no awkward silence or restlessness in the room. No one held their breath in surprise. There was only laughter echoing there. This collective laughter is more dangerous than that lone villain.
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How long can we shirk accountability in the name of content creation?
Often such cases are followed by a few clichés as a shield: “It was just a joke”, “This is dark humor”, “People have become more sensitive these days.” But no video becomes ‘content’ accidentally or unknowingly. Someone recorded it, someone edited it, someone put a thumbnail and someone gave the go-ahead, “This is fun, upload it.” When you give airtime to an idea and let it go viral, you are not just a mere spectator; You become a partner in promoting that crime and thinking.
Double standards for male and female creators
Misogyny in society remains alive not only through the laughter of men but also through our double standards. When women creators raise their voice against society’s restrictions or misbehavior, how does society treat them?
Kusha Kapila: His personal life decision (divorce) became the talk of the entire internet and he was judged mercilessly.
Apoorva Mukhija: When she responded boldly to the lewd comments coming on her timeline, Apoorva’s ‘anger’ and ‘reaction’ were criticized for ignoring the men’s rudeness.
Women are expected to take responsibility for their every word, every dress, and every gesture, while male creators are often left with “it’s just content, it’s not their true personality.” And whenever a serious debate begins on the behavior of men, the discussion is stifled by raising the slogan “Not all men are like this”.
Protest is necessary, but is it enough?
The anger of the entire internet over this clip of ₹370 biryani was justified and necessary. It was heartening to see that from Kusha Kapila to Dolly Singh to Elvish Yadav, people from every corner of the internet unanimously agreed that this was extremely wrong.
But this anger is insufficient. Insufficiently because this is not an isolated incident. This is the hallmark of that society where:
After an incident the woman is asked what she was wearing, where she was and who she was with; Not the criminal is questioned.
Where even a basic right like ‘Consent’ is defined as per one’s convenience.
Even today, long legal battles have to be fought to bring marital rape into the category of a legal crime.
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The villain is not just a person, it is our culture
This joke was not shocking, but rather a crude document of our mainstream thinking. The villain isn’t just the guy who said this; The villain is the ecosystem and culture that has taught him that such actions are ‘cool’ or ‘fun’. Villains are also those people who were sitting in front and clapping.
As long as we continue to consider hatred towards women as ‘comedy’, distorted notions of asserting one’s rights as ‘confidence’ and oppression as ‘laughter’, we are all responsible for this failure.
So it is clear, this matter was never about biryani worth ₹ 370. This case was about a woman’s identity and the value of her consent. The price of biryani was only ₹ 370, but the cost of the joke made on it is going to be very heavy for our society.
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